GIVE UP.

should i give up? i think i should. and Shannon made me realise something.
PRAY.ABOUT.IT.

Shannon Ng says
you pray about it?

denise Xu says
uhmm.. last night lehh, but i think i wouldn't cause i believe its impossible anyway

Shannon Ng says
you know how we're told like the holy spirit will guide you
like the voice that tells you stuff?
i think when we hear things like its impossible, its not God telling you
cause we know God can do anything
but listen to the very still voice that tells you reason to why or why not
thing with God is that, i feel, we get into all the bgrs, we hurt at the end when the person isnt right for us
God hurts too
so why not listen to all the stuff God has to say before deciding that you wanna tell
cause its hard to feel so, but make yourself not act upon it, i know.
but timing's very crucial


i should really rethink. i'm now a member of the world right? i have to remember God's Will.
God willing, whoever i meet and end up with, will not end up in a ending like mum's.

因为我配不上你。

Rachel 让我发现了一件事。
我根本配不上他。
喜欢他好比赖蛤蟆像吃天鹅肉。
为什么？
1）人人都说胖女孩没资格谈恋爱。
2) 他又高又瘦，我就刚好相反。哪有女生比男生大只的呢？
3）他只把我当成是小妹妹吧，cadet 罢了。
那我这又何苦呢？ 为何要自讨苦吃？嗨~~
WHERE IS SAMAN WHEN I NEED SOMEONE TO LIFT MY SPIRITS A LITTLE?! D:

Ms Liberty (SC March In)

nobody in my family is supposed to know of this blog. hence? i'm posting like a thief, that being secretly.
anyways, felt like it, so here's a lil' FB note kinda thing :D

put your playlist on shuffle, then click "next" for every question. NO CHEATING!

1. If someone says, “shelf”, you say? Wish You My Love
I wish my shelf love. she's sentimental like that

2. How would you describe yourself? 从满幻想的少年 (Full of Imagination)
I am full of imagination. that's right.

3. What do you like in a guy/girl? Full House- I Think I Love You O_O?
I like it that i think i like the guy?

4. How do you feel today? 下一站，幸福. (Next Stop, Happiness)
i feel that my next stop is gonna be filled with happiness :D

5. What is your life’s purpose? Fifteen-Swifty
my purpose in life. 15?! srsly?! O_O?!

6. What's your motto? 我难过(I'm Sad) -5566.
well, i can't say thats my motto, but that's the state i'm constantly in

7. What do your friends think of you? NPCCxMarch.
LOL. that's right. they think i'm NP crazy. not that it's not true... O.O?

8. What do you think of your parents? 拓也的秘密心願
uhm... that's an instrumental. so..... i think my parents are instrumental? THEY HINT WHAT THEY WANNA SAY BUT DON'T ACTUALLY SAY IT OUT! hah!(i managed to bullshit that out?!)

9. What do you think about very often? 幸運草( Four-Leaf Clover)
hehs, the chance of me and him is as good as finding Four Leaf Clovers >.<

10. What is 2 + 2? She Will Be Loved-Maroon 5.
i dont know man

11. What do you think of your best friend? 挑撥(Instigation?)
I think my best friend is trying to instigate something..... i don't have a bestie though

12. What do you think of the person you like? You Belong With Me-Swifty
LOL. yeah right. that answer is epic though

13. What is your life story? 最美麗的謊言(The Nicest Lie)
all i can say is.....LOL! >.< ain't that right captain obvious!

14. What do you want to be when you grow up? 战斗
I've no clue how to translate that man..

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like? Don't Stop Believing.
OMG. NOOOO!!!!

16. What will you dance to at your wedding? Love Story - Swifty.
LOL, that's appropriate. :D

17. What will they play at your funeral? Hey Stephen - Swifty.
uhm.... i don't even think Stephen is gonna be at my funeral though, but hey, why not? :D

18. What is your biggest fear? 一切為了愛 (Everything For Love)
LOL.

19. What is your biggest secret? 突然想愛你( Suddenly Want To Love You)
hehs, my crush?

20. What will you post this as? Ms Liberty(SC March In)
NOw everyone's really gonna think i'm NP mad. this was march in tune for NPAP'2011. hehs.

how i wish

How I wish I can declare it to the whole wide world.
But no, I can't because I don't have the guts to.

I really want to tell you. Tell you a million times. Even if you don't feel the same way.
Ilikeyou. ilikeyou.ilikeyou.ilikeyou.ilikeyou.I.like.you. is it clear enough? Sadly I can't tell it in your face. And I'm in a dilema now.

KILL ME NOW.

Saman called me immediately when i texted her that. so here's why.

i was asking about something for my unit, and he asked you got no volunteers meh? i was like no. zero. then he was like why not one say i come down and do it for you girls? and i.stopped.breathing. like for real. i know Saman told me to NOT THINK SO MUCH but i can"t help it, it's NOT my fault! if he actually comes, i think i wouldn't dare face him. because it might be like.. going to be obvious. i dunno la! wa, i want to die now! D:

Crush woes are painful

this post shouldn't be here, but didn't feel like writing it, so heck.
you know what i just realised?
he was there for all the important NP events. oh, other than STC that is.
-ATC 15-17june 2009
-NPAP'2010 supporting cont 9
-STC 23-25 July 2010
-NPAP'2011 supporting cont 1 (he was kinda there for me ba)
-HRC 19 March 2011. he friggin sent me to the irritating first aid post and laughed at me can..... sighs, but i just can't seem to forget him.
Saman says its actually possible between us. me and him that is, not her >.< lols
she says IF i can wait until after his NS, then ya, possible it'd work out.
huh... that's 3 years. its either i gave up, or he found out and hence i gave up. either way, it's NEVER EVER EVER gonna happen alrighty.
sighs. so remind me again, why do i even bother?

Infected by Saman dear

So ya, I usually don't blog, but this is because Saman infected me. Oh dear, sorry I copied your blog title, I couldn't think of another.

I was reading Saman's blog, and thought of what other better place to scream my ramblings, though not very often.

And if saman reads on, the blog name is not the only thing I stole from her. (Sorry!)

Why I wana be a CI.
To me, I've always thought CIs were col and stuff, but that's not the reason why I want to be a CI. I wanna be a CI because CI's have played a major role in my NP journey these past 3 odd years. Be it nurturing me, teaching me, or just being there. I love all my officers, and yes, that includes ma'am Esther. I wanna help the future cadets realise the importance of np in their lives, and impact their lives like it has to mine. And it's a way for me to help my cui unit too. Of course, most importantly, it's that I lovelovelovelovelove NP. Oh and a really really small fraction, because of ________.

I want to be a CI.I will be a CI.I must be a CI. Oh and I must take part in at lease one NPAP as a CI.

Humm... her post also mentions crushes.... I'm gonna skip on that :D

Ok, enough of my nonsense.....

I kinda think my officer friends are starting to think I'm irritating. Crap, now whut? Humm.... oh and I think he does, especially so. Sighs, I've been talking to much again haven't I?
We'll, most people don't know it, but there's a reason why I talk so much.....