Crush woes are painful

this post shouldn't be here, but didn't feel like writing it, so heck.
you know what i just realised?
he was there for all the important NP events. oh, other than STC that is.
-ATC 15-17june 2009
-NPAP'2010 supporting cont 9
-STC 23-25 July 2010
-NPAP'2011 supporting cont 1 (he was kinda there for me ba)
-HRC 19 March 2011. he friggin sent me to the irritating first aid post and laughed at me can..... sighs, but i just can't seem to forget him.
Saman says its actually possible between us. me and him that is, not her >.< lols
she says IF i can wait until after his NS, then ya, possible it'd work out.
huh... that's 3 years. its either i gave up, or he found out and hence i gave up. either way, it's NEVER EVER EVER gonna happen alrighty.
sighs. so remind me again, why do i even bother?