it's been long. but not quite actually.

so i'm super psyched!
i met him... last monday, and i'm meeting him again tomorrow. depso much? haha, can't be helped, i think i've fallen into the stage of "blinded crush". tsk. so irritating. Rachel keeps turning around to face me, then show the "twist" sign, to represent him. sheesh, then i will like automatically smile and my thoughts will just run wild. LIKE MAD. tsk

and i dont know why, i can keep other's secrets fairly well with myself, but i cant keep my own. its so damm obvious. i'm pretty sure he knows. so he is just faking to not know..

and friday, i realised something. i kinda have a feeling, either i'm thinking too much(as per usual) or God is really doing something i don't know why either.

so two fridays, i got screwed with my unit, and decided not to return unless help is seriously needed. then Victor said i should not give up so easily, and encouraged me to go back. but i know myself well, and i seriously think i shouldn't. then he taught me a whole bunch of campcraft stuff, which i cannot forget, or he'd murder me.. but if i cant go back, then how to teach? means must go le lorr.. then last friday, one of the trainee teachers came down to look around and commented alot. he made me realise and learn a lot, but back to the point. if i cant go back, how to teach? means must go back? but if i go back, the sec 3s are gonna say i'm meddling with their term again. and i dont want that scene to repeat. so i'm seriously stuck in between helping; or rather "helping", and quiting. if God is really wanting to direct me to do something i dont want, then i really need to know which path to take. which i dont. hence the confusion.. tsk. a little help maybe?

i met with Vivek last sunday, for chem help/study group. and i met Murni today, for kinda a study session. feels as if i'm having my own mini cont gathering....with those i am actually close to at leastt.... tsk. murni mentioned today she wants to make a cont gathering. good luck babe, you'd need itt..... sighs, if only it'd actually happen. tsk. so irritating. can i just.... drop off the face of the planet? that way, i wont feel so...... frustrated! gah... kill me!D: